Powdered Heart and Lightning Mage
by Timballisto
Summary: Love hurts. It grinds and smashes your heart to little pieces, and yet, you can't hate the person who did it to you because you love them in the first place. TrisOC


I had a few typos and mixups between third and first person that have been cleared up now (Special thanks to Vivi108). If you notice that anything else is wrong, such as misspelled words or mistitled people please tell me.

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I never liked to overstep my boundaries. Living as one of Empress Berenene's favored curiosities (I had the tendency to explode) was full of temptation, flirtatious ladies who would mistake me as a nobleman, pretty foreign maids who wanted to get a little summer romance at court. I abstained however,I always thought that love was precious, not something to be squandered in some dark corner. My mother, Yorgiry keep her soul, had always taught me to be courteous to all females, doubly so when the lady in question was higher in station.

I never meant to overstep my boundaries.

I didn't fall for the Empress, as many a foolish man did. Instead, I fell for a foreigner, a mage. Sythuthan curse it. I knew I was being stupid, like a mage would ever be interested in a boring, dusty young man that haunted the equally dusty Imperial libraries. Still, I found himself drawn into long conversations with the young woman. I knew I was older than her, if only by two years. I knew she was out of my league and I had nothing to offer but that certainly didn't stop me from packing her room full of the books she had expressed interest in when _Viymese_ Ladyhammer had suggested it.

I do admit I was slightly shocked (forgive the pun) when my mage (I liked to think of her that way) had neatly sealed a Syth worthy storm away in her braids, but in the end it only increased my admiration. Sigh, I never had been good at the whole 'express love' thing, and I suspected that when she left, as she undoubtedly would, I would be heartbroken.

So, in desperation, I began actively seeking her out, laughing and smiling and talking and learning, while my heart broke behind my smile. Each time she would saymy name it would fracture a little more.

Then, the impossible happened. _Clehame_ Sandriline was abducted, taken by one of Berenene's little pet courtiers, Finlach fer Hurich. Her siblings had rescued her, and were leaving as soon as possible.

I had sought her out at her room, only to have no one answer, even though I knew she was there. That was when my heart shattered, leaving a broken mess.

Then, my mage had fallen down the stairs in her house, and had nearly ground her bones to dust. Despite the fact that she clearly did not want to see me, I stood vigil outside her door, hardly sleeping.

"What are you doing here?" I looked up to see _Clehame_ Sandriline's fierce face glaring down at him. Despite the fact that I should be bowing deeply, I felt too tired to get up off the wooden floor.

"I let him in." the Landreg _Clehame_ whirled to see Ealaga fer Landreg standing behind her. "He says he is a close friend of _Viymese_-"

"He could be the one who set the trap!" Clehame Sandriline hissed, grief riding her voice.

"Does he even have magic?" Ealaga asked, placating the enraged noblewomen.

_Clehame_ Sandriline looked closely at me then blinked in surprise. "Yes, actually. But it's such a destructive, unstable mix of magic I'm surprised he's alive."

I shrugged and then looked up sharply at the healer who had exited the room.

"She'll live." The healer said tiredly. "But I've never seen a body so broken and not dead-" my throat constricted. "-but with a lot of bedrest, food, and magic, she should be fine." I felt my breath hitch.

"Can I see her?" _Clehame_ Sandriline asked, her voice desperate. Her foster-siblings somehow seemed to be able to turn up at the most opportune moments.

"Can we?" _Viynain_ Briar's voice was sharp, like thorns.

The Healer nodded and stepped aside.

I wanted to follow, but he knew she probably didn't want to see me in the first place.

When _Clehame_ Sandriline left the bedroom, her face was streaked with tears. I looked away, ignoring her show of emotion and honoring her grief.

"She doesn't want to see you." I winced at the tone of voice the _Viymese_ Daja was using, it could have cracked the house in two. "Leave."

I knew it would be the case. She didn't want to see a man she had met in the Venus fly trap that was the Imperial palace. I thought my heart was already dust, but I thought I heard it crack again.

I turned to leave, my shoulders slumped, feet dragging. "Could you," My voice cracked. "Tell her that I-I…" I stopped, and turned. "I'm leaving Namorn, so maybe I'll see you around?" I supposed I looked a lot defeated soldier, going on a suicide mission in the enemies' camp.

"I'll be sure to tell her so." It was _Clehame_ Sandriline's voice, softer this time.

I managed a half smile before shuffling out of the house.

I never meant to fall in love with Trisana Chandler.


End file.
